I am not angry, I am just tired. Tired of how some men will act like they are serious, make you believe in something real, and then disappear the moment they get what they want.
I have lost count of how many times this same story has repeated itself, not just for me but for so many women I know. They start with, “I’m not like other guys,” and pretend to be caring and intentional. They call you every morning, text you goodnight, talk about the future, and make you believe that this time, it might actually work.
But once you open up emotionally, or once intimacy happens, everything changes. The messages stop coming, the calls reduce, and the same man who once said he could not go a day without hearing your voice suddenly becomes too busy.
It is not even about heartbreak anymore. It is the manipulation that hurts the most. Why pretend to want something serious when you know you only want sex? Why not say it plainly from the start? Some women might still agree, at least then it would be honest.
I met someone a few months ago who looked like everything I had been praying for. He was smart, soft-spoken, and funny. We talked every day for almost two months. He said all the right things and kept telling me how he wanted a peaceful, mature relationship. I believed him.
Then one night, things got physical between us, and that was the last time he ever acted serious. The next morning, he was cold. Within a week, he started ghosting me. His excuse was “work is stressing me.” By the third week, he had completely disappeared.
And it is not just me. I have heard the same story from women in Abuja, Lagos, Port Harcourt — different cities, same men. Some of them will even tell you, “I want something real,” just to get close enough.
The worst part is when they come back later with the same weak apology: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t ready.”
If you were not ready, why play with someone’s emotions in the first place?
Sometimes I wonder if genuine love even exists anymore or if it is just another trick people use to get what they want.
I am not saying all men are like this, but the pattern is becoming too common to ignore. Everyone is pretending. Everyone wants the benefits of love without the responsibility that comes with it.
I honestly do not know what to believe anymore. Maybe relationships today are just built on lies and short-term desires.
To the men reading this, why do some of you do this? Is it fun watching someone believe in a lie?